Friday, June 26, 2009

I Wonder

If I can possibly get all of my cleaning done today and bust out the quilt I started for my Dad several years ago, get it all quilted and bound to go out in the mail by Tuesday??

Monday, June 15, 2009

Crush Me, With the, Things You Do

If no one else get's it, I know at least Lala will appreciate the title of this post. Today, I was made to feel my age. I had an appointment with a new downstairs Dr. and she wants me to go get a baseline mammogram done. I find myself these days often contemplating my age. 36 going on 37 (or 16 some might say) still young by most standards, though some days feeling every single moment of it, and then some. I suppose in some ways I feel very young, but other times, feel very inadequate. Meaning, I feel like I should have accomplished more by this time in my life. But over all (aside from feeling stuck in this rut called NJ) I'm happy, and I suppose that's really what matters most.

In the meantime, I'm working on spinning some yarn, knitting some socks, and living my life!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

I Should Really Be In Work Right Now

But I'm hanging home a little while due to a migraine, and waiting for the meds to kick in so that I can safely commute to work. That whole idea and another post I read this morning from the Lovely and Oh So Talented Miss V. has got me thinking a lot about my frustrations in life at the moment. The stagnation that I feel my life has become, the wanderlust that is poking it's head up almost constantly these days. The almost 7 years I've spent in this apartment and the almost 10 years I've spent at my current job is the longest I've been in one place since I've moved out of my parents house when I was 18. I've gotten to the point where I honestly just don't care about either. I need change, I crave change, I'm starving for change of some kind. I want OUT OF NJ big time. But I can stick with it for a while. I know the Boy wants out as well, once he's a little more establised in his current field of employment he'll be free to go wherever his whims take him, and with any luck those whims will be the same as mine and we can head off blissfully in any direction.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Nervous, Very Nervous

After putting it off for months and months and oh ok, a year and a month. I finally went yesterday to have my blood work done to check the usual's, cholesterol, blood sugar, thyroid, etc. I get a call from my Dr's office today leaving me a message that I need to schedule an appointment to see him as soon as I can to discuss my lab work...uhhhhhg, this does not bode well for me people!!! The last time I had my labs done, things were on the upswing and my Dr. actually called me personally to go over the results with me. Sooooo I'm nervous, oh so very nervous. I have a butt load of medical issues that run in my family, I'm a chubby girl, who obviously has no self control with a lot of things, I'm just fearing that this will not be good.

I seriously don't know what's wrong with me. I know to very minute details, what I must do to be healthy, what to change, what to do, and not do as the case may be, but I fall so lazily into patterns, patterns that come from a fresh out of bizzaro world family upbrining, patterns that come from depression, patterns that come from simply being a lazy ass on occasion. I do not want it to be this way, I do not feel that I am destined to self destruct, but I know that my patterns are leading me down that path, and that is not good. Yet, I don't make the long term changes I need to make. Perhaps my Dr can shock the stupid out of me and I can actually get (and keep, moreso keep) my shit together in this department.