Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Nervous, Very Nervous

After putting it off for months and months and oh ok, a year and a month. I finally went yesterday to have my blood work done to check the usual's, cholesterol, blood sugar, thyroid, etc. I get a call from my Dr's office today leaving me a message that I need to schedule an appointment to see him as soon as I can to discuss my lab work...uhhhhhg, this does not bode well for me people!!! The last time I had my labs done, things were on the upswing and my Dr. actually called me personally to go over the results with me. Sooooo I'm nervous, oh so very nervous. I have a butt load of medical issues that run in my family, I'm a chubby girl, who obviously has no self control with a lot of things, I'm just fearing that this will not be good.

I seriously don't know what's wrong with me. I know to very minute details, what I must do to be healthy, what to change, what to do, and not do as the case may be, but I fall so lazily into patterns, patterns that come from a fresh out of bizzaro world family upbrining, patterns that come from depression, patterns that come from simply being a lazy ass on occasion. I do not want it to be this way, I do not feel that I am destined to self destruct, but I know that my patterns are leading me down that path, and that is not good. Yet, I don't make the long term changes I need to make. Perhaps my Dr can shock the stupid out of me and I can actually get (and keep, moreso keep) my shit together in this department.

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