Ding! Hat is Done!

The hat that I was making for Rich for x-mas is complete! Even if I had to stay up knitting like a fiend until 3am risking running out of yarn! Pics to follow!

The Need to Break the Ties That Bind

Today I'm particularly antsy. I want OUT! Out of NJ, where the cost of living is sucking me dry. Out of my job (while I do like my job and mostly love the people I work with) that I'm terribly burnt out from. Ten years in one office doing the same thing, day in and day out has taken a toll on me. Mentally I'm drained, and that wears me down physically. I'm ready for something new and exciting, something that I once again feel passion for. I do not need, nor do I want outrageous fortune and fame. Though honestly a little fortune would be nice. I want to be happy with my life, to feel like I'm doing something important, even if I'm the only person this something is important to. The wanderlust is strong today, pulling me from what I need to be doing, and pushing me to focus on what I have to be doing to set the wheels of change in motion. I have to start thinking and planning seriously. Making decisions and bringing these plans and ideas to fruition. All of these things and more are steps in digging myself out of this pile o crap that is suffocating me.

Future Topics

I have to put them somewhere so that I don't forget them..

1. Ideas on ideas.
2. What I am, what I want, and what I will never be.
3. Finishing, what's the deal?
4. How do you just NOT SEE that??

OK, I think that's it for now.. off to knit the never ending X-mas gifts!

Uhhg Forgot AGAIN!

Maybe it's the pressure of trying to get all of my X-mas knitting done, but I forgot to share the second shipment I received from The Loopy Ewe .

One Down

I have one completed holiday knitted gift ready for giving :) 3 and a half more to go, plus a quilt to finish..wheeeew. I'd rather be doing any of those things than sitting here at work on a rainy/slushy day!

Oh I Almost Forgot

To share my newly acquired knitting booty! I've done a little (lot) too much shopping at The Loopy Ewe. I'm actually waiting on the second order I placed with them in ONE week! After the super duper customer service and awesomely fast shipping of the first order, oh and a sale, I couldn't resist adding to my stash!

Quick Catch Up

The Boy and I had a most wonderful anniversary dinner at Inde Blue in Collingswood before Rich was whisked away on his vacation to go fishing in upstate NY for the week.

We had a lovely Thanksgiving at his mom's house with his family. Sadly I wasn't thinking and didn't bring my camera to capture any of it.

I have been in full procrastination mode up until now with getting my holiday gifts done. Since the "OH no there are blank many days till X-Mas" fire has been lit under me. I've finished a pair and a half of socks, with one more pair to go, plus a hat and a pair of fingerless long mitts, oh and I have to finish quilting and binding the quilt for Dad. Thankfully I work well under pressure :)

Happy Halloween and A very Blessed Samhian to You

What is this Samhain you ask? I've borrowed this from Witchway.net

Samhain is popularly known today as Halloween, a contraction of the words "Hallowed Evening", and it retains much of the original form and meaning it had long ago in Celtic lands, despite the efforts of the Church to turn it into an observance of feasting and prayer for their vast pantheon of saints. The Church began calling it Michaelmas, the feast day of St. Michael, but the old Samhain holiday proved to be too potent a drawing card for one lone saint to combat. So it was renamed the Eve of All Saints, or All Hallows Eve, which precedes All Saint's Day, and is still one of the holiest days in Catholicism. The pagan Samhain is not, and never was, associated with evil or negativity. It has always been a time to reaffirm our belief in the oneness of all spirits, and in our firm resolution that physical death is not the final act of existence. Though death is very much a part of Samhain's symbolism, this Sabbat also celebrates the triumph of life over death. While it is true that Samhain is no more evil than any other holiday, it is also a fact that evil does exist, and pagans have always been aware of this. Our ancestors sought to protect themselves on this night by carving faces in vegetables to place near windows or at the perimeters of their circle. These were the forerunners of our present day jack-o-lanterns. These carved pumpkin faces are probably relics of the even earlier custom of placing candles in windows to guide the earth-walking spirits along their way. Today it is still a custom in Ireland to place candles in the windows on Samhain night and to leave plates of food for the visiting spirits. There are two possible sources for the origin of the Samhain Sabbat's name. One is from the Aryan God of Death, Samana, and the other is from the Irish Gaelic word "samhraidhreadh", which literally means "the summer's end". Samhain marked the end of summer and the beginning of winter for the Celts, with the day after Samhain being the official date of the Celtic New Year. The reason the Celts chose this point in time as their new year rather than Yule, when the rest of Western pagans celebrate it, was because the sun is at its lowest point on the horizon as measured by the ancient standing stones of Britain and Ireland. This is also a time for harmless pranks, lavish feasting, circle games, and merrymaking which can be teasingly blamed on nearby spirits ;) (ala Loki, Abbot, Lord of Misrule etc.) Samhain bonfires, called balefires in paganism, were once lighted on every hilltop in Britain and Ireland as soon as the sun set on October 30. The word "balefire" comes from the word "boon", which means "extra". The fires serve the purpose of containing the energy of the dead god, lighting the dark night, warding off evil, ushering in the light of the New Year, purifying the ritual space or home, and being the focus of ritual. In many parts of the British Isles these balefires are still lighted on Samhain to honor the old ways. The idea that evil spirits walk the earth at Samhain is a misinterpretation of the pagan belief that the veil of consciousness which separates the land of the living from the land of the dead is at its thinnest on this night. This does not mean that hordes of evil entities cross this chasm. Some pagans believe this veil is made thin by the God's passing through it into the Land of the Dead, and that he will, for the sake of his people, attempt to hold back any spirits crossing into the physical plane whose intent it is to make trouble. In nearly all the Western pagan traditions, deceased ancestors and other friendly spirits are invited to join the Sabbat festivities, and be reunited with loved ones who are otherwise separated by time and dimensions of existence. Some modern scholars claim that Samhain's traditional 'trick or treat' custom was derived from a ploy to to scare away fairies and other mischievous spirits, but it has overtones of being a custom of a much later period, perhaps one which grew up around the Burning Times. During the Burning Times, masking and dark clothing hid the identities of witches going to their covens so that they might escape detection. The mask also had the added benefit of frightening away any inquisitor who might happen upon a lone figure in the woods.

Whhheeeeee!!

It's cold! It's Fall! It's soooo exciting!

Hi Ya'll! A wee bit o catching up to do. Last weekend, Lala came up to visit for my late B-day weekend. We had a most delightful time, hitting the beach at night, sitting for an hour or so on the beach watching the moon rise, the planes fly over the bay, and the tide creep up on us. Talking, sharing, painting the same picture in our minds :) Sunday we somehow managed to dress in the same colors (go figure) and headed on over to SJPP Day at Cooper River Park. Hmmf, I don't know what exactly I was expecting. I mean it was better than 2 years ago when we went, but I was still sort of let down by the vendors offerings. I did manage to bring a tree of life pendant home with me though. On the way home to meet up with the Boy, we stopped at Woolplay where Lala pet all the purty yarns, and I picked up a ball of Skacel Zauberball Crazy in colorway 1699 . Oh teh pretty! I can't wait to knit something with this!

Once we got back, Lala had some time to taunt her feline nemesis Olive, then we had pizza with the Boy.



I've also made some serious progress (after having to re-knit the heel flap 3 times on the same sock) on my Noro socks. I don't know yet if I love the yarn, but I dooo lurve me the colors. I mean hello, it's Noro!


Work is still work...blahhhhhh I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the best. I'm off today, the Boy will be here later after work, so I have some cleaning to do and I'm feeling another big de-cluttering coming on. With any luck I'll have a whole complete sock to share later today!

Give Away Alert!

Silver Sun Alpacas is having a give away! Check them out!

Sunday Avoidance

It's Sunday afternoon, after 1 to be more precise. As of yet I have accomplished nothing, except for buying cat food, so that Olive doesn't gnaw my face off in my sleep. (This can be a real threat people!) I slept pretty well last night, and actually have been for a while, since I've started taking melatonin about an hour before I want to go to sleep. It's strange for me, to actually get sleep, when it's DARK out! But very welcome none the less.

Last night, I managed to finally finish my Halloween themed painting and get prints listed in ye old etsy shop I also got some fall cards listed
..

I'm working on a cotton crochet market bag that I hope to be able to post some time tonight or tomorrow. I'm not following any pattern for the bag, just sort of figuring it out as I go, making it into something that I would want to use, and find useful.

I think one of my big reasons for avoiding doing much of anything as of yet today is because, well it's Sunday, this means back to work for me tomorrow and this is going to be a CRAZY week. I hired a new person, and am hoping that I can get her all trained and ready so that next week I can go back to my old schedule of working Tue, Wed and Thurs from 9-8 and Sat's from 9-3. While it was nice having evening's off before the last replacement quit on me, I'm a creature of habit. I accomplished more in that extra day off, than I was getting done at night. I've worked all but Friday's the past 2 weeks, and have one more week of that ahead of me, and honestly I'm a bit burnt out and just tired. I love my job and the people I work with, but the extra long days get old, fast.

The Boy is traveling this week. He's headed to Mass. for a meeting. He'll be driving up, and hopefully getting to stop in and see some of his friends along the way. I'll be missing him terribly while he's gone. A week from today, he and I will have been together for 11 months. It's hard to believe how quickly the time has passed. I have learned and grown so much in these last 11 months. I have met a most incredible man, who believes in me, encourages me, and loves me as I am. I have honestly never been as happy in my life, felt so strong and comfortable in my own skin as I do now. I am blessed to have him in my life, and am thankful every single day. He makes me want to be a better person, and for that he has my love, admiration and gratitude :)

A Bit of Relaxation

This has been just a horrid, horrid week. I'm utterly exhausted and stressed, because somehow, with the rate of unemployment in NJ, I can't seem to find any one to even apply for the job openings I have at work. No less anyone remotely qualified. I'm taking off tomorrow, then have off Sunday (our office is closed on Sundays) but aside from that I have no idea when my next day off will be.

Today's high point was receiving a BEAUTIFUL handmade spindle from zebisisdesigns there was a wonderful sample of silk included too! I have never spun silk, but Ohhhh is it good! Spinning was my relaxation tonight!


Tomorrow I have a million and 53 things to get done, but I'm going to make sure and take at least a little time to pamper myself. Maybe if I can get all of my cleaning done early I'll go and get at least a manicure. Wish me luck!

It Was Too Good To Be True!

So yeah.. I had finally after 18 years of working a crappy ass long day retail hour schedule, had someone who could work for me in the evenings, so I was out of work at a normal hour. I had gotten myself on a way better sleep schedule for the first time in my life, and actually felt somewhat like a "normal" person. Well it seems "Normal" doesn't like me, as my fill in person quit on me with zip, zero, zilch notice and until I find someone remotely qualified, I'm stuck working all these crappy ass hours myself...arrrrg.

Wow, Where to Begin?

Ok, let's just pick any starting off point and jump into my life as of late.

1. New Hair, new style, new me for a new year. (as my B-day was 9/7 and I got the most rockin french press any coffee junkie could ever ask for). I decided to go back to my natural hair color while I still can, before all of the grey alien hairs grow in. And go back to short, because I really, truly HATE the feeling of hair on my face.

2. Change in moving plans! I know, I know, enough with the Ohh I'm gonna move and not already. But my main motivation for needing to move this year was because of issues with my dog and my apartment complex. They seem to think my 50 lb lab o love, is too big for their newly imposed 25 lb pet weight limit. On this, I have a few things to say, first, my dog makes far less noise than some of the asshole kids in my complex. More specifically the asshole kids that hath spawned from the assholes who live upstairs from me.. ah hem.. and secondly (or A, B #1 if you will) little dogs are WAY yappier than my Kinsey cakes is, so they can suck it! With that being said, I've discussed said situation with the complex owner and I'm so grandfathered into my lease, my great grand kids (should I have had offspring of my own) dogs dog could live in my apartment. So no need to sacrafice anything in a move. I am however still up to my earlobes trying to reorganize and PURGE all of the crap out of my life.

3. Sadly on 9/9 The Boy's Dad lost his long battle with cancer. HIs presence will be greatly missed by all. The Boy and his family are all doing pretty well considering. His Dad was sick for a long time, and he is now at peace and no longer suffering.

4. I've at the prompting of Lala joined paperbackswap and have already revieved and read several great books. I would highly recomend the site for anyone who is a big reader. If you join, please let them know Andrea9772 sent you!

5. It's time, the countdown has begun.. holiday crafty time. I'm presently working on little knitted something or other (that I'm BURSTING at the seams to show off but can't because it's a gift) for Lala. Also working on Liesl for myself in Knitpicks Wool of the Andes in Hollyberry. This will be the first sweater I'm knitting, and so far so good. I've also decided on my other knitted holiday gift for the girls at work. It's going to be the same thing for each of them just in different colors. Easy peasy lemon squeezy, though by the end of it, I'll never ever want to knit that pattern again.. probably. Dad is getting his quilt (finally). I'm still undecided as to what the Boy his Mom and Pea Dub are getting.

6. I've mastered a recipie for Chicken Mahkani :) This is FABULOUS!

7. Oh yeah! Happy Mabon to ya! That's the autumnal equinox for all of ya non Pagan's out there!

Ok, so I suppose I've futzed around long enough today, I suppose I should get back to work!! Till next time!

The Time To Act is Now!

Now that I've made up my mind with where I'll be living, I have to start the decluttering process. So far I have a huge box of items a giant bag of clothes to donate, along with shoes, an old CD rack thing a ma bob, and a fake christmas tree. I'm thinking I might also need to get some tubs to store my yarn/fiber and fabric in. Yes I realize I have 8 or 9 weeks to go, but I'm anxious to start this new chapter in my life, and well, I guess moving is one place my inner Virgo shines, as I MUST be prepared! Happy Friday Ya'll!

I've Made An Official Decision

On my future residence! My new home will not exactly have all of the amenities that I'd like (no washer and dryer..boo hoo, but on the plus side, I can knit while I wait at the laundromat) and it is still a little far from work (though closer than I am right now). It is however going to let me save at least $120 a month from what I would be spending if I stayed where I am now. Decision made! One less thing to worry about! Happy Tuesday!

Oh Hello There

Hello Blog! It's been too long, and I've missed you so. There is so much that's gone on since my last real update, so here's the scoop, for those who are playing along :)

Dad was having more complications from his bypass in early July. He ended up being rushed to Cleveland Clinic in Ohio where they were able to use stents to repair the collapsing arteries from the bypass. Things were looking pretty grim there for a while, but thankfully he's doing much better and is now home and back to his usual mischievous self. I went out to WV to visit with him for a few days in July. I had a great time visiting with him, I brought the Midget along with me and she was incredibly well behaved.

On another note, the Boy's dad sadly isn't doing well at all. He's been battling cancer for several years and is now at the point where there isn't anything more that can be done for him. I keep trying to encourage the Boy to be sure he spends as much time with him now as he can, while his dad is still coherent, before the hospice and morphine poisoning sets in. I don't know if he's fully grasping how this is going to affect him, as he and his dad have had their issues over the years, but I have assured him that I'll be there for him when or what ever he needs during this time.

Now onto contemplations on future issues. I'm moving this fall, mostly because my apartment complex is giving me grief over Kinsey and her size, etc. They are also going to start charging (well not covering, is more accurate) for heat and hot water, that is now a covered part of my lease. Personally I've wanted to move for a while, but my life has been in limbo and it's been much easier for me to just stay here. I've been looking at apartments for a while now and am astounded by how much it costs to live in this over crowded, loud yet great garden state. Everything that is remotely close to what I have here is way more than I want to spend, so most of my options are smaller. Add in the places that will take a 40 plus pound dog and my selection is smaller as well. The place I went to look at today, is the smallest yet. In a highrise, a little more than half the size of my current apartment, no washer and dryer in the unit, but all the utilities are included, and it's much closer to work. I must admit I'm intrigued though. At first when I walked into the sample, I was a little stunned by how small it was, pretty much a small kitchen and bath, and a living room and bedroom. My first thoughts were that all of my crap will NOT fit in there. Then after thinking about it for a little while, my constant complaint with myself it that I have TOO much crap and that I really need to simplify my life, my things, my space. In a smaller apartment I would have no choice but to simplify and make the most of what I have. So I'm seriously considering the idea that sometimes less is more.

I'm going to grab a bowl of fruit loops, do a little reading and hit the hay! More to come soon! I promise!

Ohhhhhh

Borrowed this genius idea and took it a step farther. I took the remnants from the sleeves and sewed them together to make a snazzy little headband!

I Wonder

If I can possibly get all of my cleaning done today and bust out the quilt I started for my Dad several years ago, get it all quilted and bound to go out in the mail by Tuesday??

Crush Me, With the, Things You Do

If no one else get's it, I know at least Lala will appreciate the title of this post. Today, I was made to feel my age. I had an appointment with a new downstairs Dr. and she wants me to go get a baseline mammogram done. I find myself these days often contemplating my age. 36 going on 37 (or 16 some might say) still young by most standards, though some days feeling every single moment of it, and then some. I suppose in some ways I feel very young, but other times, feel very inadequate. Meaning, I feel like I should have accomplished more by this time in my life. But over all (aside from feeling stuck in this rut called NJ) I'm happy, and I suppose that's really what matters most.

In the meantime, I'm working on spinning some yarn, knitting some socks, and living my life!

I Should Really Be In Work Right Now

But I'm hanging home a little while due to a migraine, and waiting for the meds to kick in so that I can safely commute to work. That whole idea and another post I read this morning from the Lovely and Oh So Talented Miss V. has got me thinking a lot about my frustrations in life at the moment. The stagnation that I feel my life has become, the wanderlust that is poking it's head up almost constantly these days. The almost 7 years I've spent in this apartment and the almost 10 years I've spent at my current job is the longest I've been in one place since I've moved out of my parents house when I was 18. I've gotten to the point where I honestly just don't care about either. I need change, I crave change, I'm starving for change of some kind. I want OUT OF NJ big time. But I can stick with it for a while. I know the Boy wants out as well, once he's a little more establised in his current field of employment he'll be free to go wherever his whims take him, and with any luck those whims will be the same as mine and we can head off blissfully in any direction.

Nervous, Very Nervous

After putting it off for months and months and oh ok, a year and a month. I finally went yesterday to have my blood work done to check the usual's, cholesterol, blood sugar, thyroid, etc. I get a call from my Dr's office today leaving me a message that I need to schedule an appointment to see him as soon as I can to discuss my lab work...uhhhhhg, this does not bode well for me people!!! The last time I had my labs done, things were on the upswing and my Dr. actually called me personally to go over the results with me. Sooooo I'm nervous, oh so very nervous. I have a butt load of medical issues that run in my family, I'm a chubby girl, who obviously has no self control with a lot of things, I'm just fearing that this will not be good.

I seriously don't know what's wrong with me. I know to very minute details, what I must do to be healthy, what to change, what to do, and not do as the case may be, but I fall so lazily into patterns, patterns that come from a fresh out of bizzaro world family upbrining, patterns that come from depression, patterns that come from simply being a lazy ass on occasion. I do not want it to be this way, I do not feel that I am destined to self destruct, but I know that my patterns are leading me down that path, and that is not good. Yet, I don't make the long term changes I need to make. Perhaps my Dr can shock the stupid out of me and I can actually get (and keep, moreso keep) my shit together in this department.

Ohh oh Ohhhhhhh It's SOOOOO Goooood

I've had a whirlwind of a week. Last week, I finally finished my second sock in my first ever pair of socks (pics of all my goodies to follow very, very soon) and immediatly cast on with my Schaefer Heather yarn for my second pair of socks. I started on the 20th, whatever day that was, I'm lost at this point and don't have a calender in front of me, and 6 days later I'm 3/4 of the way done the first sock in the pair. So I'm incerdibly excited about that! What I'm even more excited about was a package I recieved today from Jimmy Beans Wool NORO SOCK YARN!!!!!! Sooooo Pretty, it seriously Rocks yer moms face off!!!!! I ordered up colorway 95 and 185 they were on sale for $13.30 each skein. Not only am I crazy excited to have these, they got here SUPER QUCIK! As I'm in NJ, and they're in NV and I ordered on Friday afternoon, here it is Tuesday and they're in my hot little hands! I might just have to get more for some Holiday Knitting (or just to fondle and drool over).

Workin' For a Livin'

It's 10:27am on a Saturday. I'm in my office, tired, feeling beat up by the world. I didn't fall asleep last night (this morning) until almost 5, because of the pain in my back and the fact that no matter what i did, or what pain meds i took, i couldn't get comfy. I've been up since 8.. you do the math. I'm fussy as can be, not in the mood to be here, not in the mood to do anything. If it wasn't for the promise of a massage for my aching back, I would tell the Boy to stay home today and come visit tomorrow.

It's been a while

I'm beginning to think I might be the worst blogger ever. I've been a grumpy camper as of late, my back is out yet again and being even remotely comfortable seems like just a dream. The only place I'm actually feeling somewhat alright is when I'm stuck in bed on my back on a heating pad. Not very practical for getting anything done that I wish to get done. This most recent pain in the back started last Sunday, so it's been 6 long days of discomfort, at least I'm somewhat mobile this go around. The only good part of being bed bound for so much of the day (whenever I haven't been at work) is that I've gotten plenty of reading in and have almost completed my second sock of my first pair of knitted socks ever. I have to work tomorrow then hang with the Boy for the rest of Saturday and Sunday. I'm hoping he's up for a very low key weekend, oh and maybe a massage. I'm off to Lather, rinse and hopefully sleep.

Progress

I'm on day 3 of my decluttering adventure. So far I'm 3 huge trash bags of junk out to the dumpster and probably close to 2 large boxes of household goods and another bag of clothes to donate. While it's very obvious that I'm making progress, it doesn't quite feel like I am. I've learned some things in this process. First, if it's sitting there untouched for more than say a month (anything I want to hold onto because I can make this, that, or the other out of) I'm probably not going to do it, BE GONE WITH IT. Secondly, though I love my home to feel cozy and comfortable, and I adore the colors that I've painted it (living room a warm dark tan and deep basil green). The depth of color adds visual weight to the room, and it feels, to me at least, just as full, even though I've gotten rid of so much stuff. I think in my next home, (I'm moving in 6 months, so no I'm not painting again before I move) we'll work with the deeper, bolder color on an accent wall and keep the rest a little lighter. The Boy will be here soon, so I need to get a move on, and try to get rid of this sinus headache too!

Welcome to My World, Where I Have Too Much Crap!

I've been saying this for a long time now. I have too much crap laying around here, I want to simplify my life, cluttered house, cluttered mind, blah, blah, blah. What have I done about this until now, uhhhm yeah almost nothing. I did my yearly end of December trip to Goodwill with some donations, and cleared out a major lot of my old (very old) scrapbook supplies. These went to Rich's mom, so when the grandkids are over they can play with them. But other than that, not much has cleared out of here. I think there are several reasons for this. Number one, I didn't have (nor did I really want) a lot for a big part of my growing up years, so in some way, I've learned to hold on to things. This is fine, if these things are useful, or sentimental, but if they're just crap, me no finkie I need them anymore. Number 2. I try very hard to be environmentally friendly. I hate to think of all of the things that I really need to get rid of going into an already over stuffed landfill somewhere. And Number 3, I'm a crafty girl. I'm forever thinking oh no, save that ripped up shirt, or those bottle caps, I can make something with them. Well that's fine in theory, but if my home is cluttered so much that I can't even think no less create, really what good does that ripped up faux suede shirt from 1995 that's been sitting rumpled in my bottom dresser drawer for the last 10 years (yes seriously 10 years) do for me. NOTHING!!!!!

So with the urge to spring clean firmly implanted in my head, I'm going to do a major purge/overhaul over the next couple of days. Some things I'll post on ebay or freecycle or craigslist, others I'll donate to Goodwill, but I can assure you I'm going to feel bad about this later, but there is going to be a ton of junk that I'm just going to have to trash. I'm apologizing in advance to Mother Earth, and promising her that I'll do better in the future.

An Abundance of Nothing

Here I sit, at work, I should be doing something, however small it is, but no I'm blogging, because that is better than the nothing that I feel like doing. Yesterday, so many things to cross off my to do list, so many plans, and what did I do, what did I feel like doing, you got it, NOTHING. Well that last statement isn't entirely true, I did nap, a lot! Today is dull, gray and lifeless, it's rainy and chilly outside. The perfect day to do.. Nothing! But as I'm stuck here for another 6 and a half hours, I'd better find something to do to keep myself busy. I don't know what it is, the first few weeks of warm weather and I was excited, with a million and one things on my mind to keep me happy and busy, and now it seems I've fallen deeply back into my winter rut. I either need some serious vacation time, a serious dose of sunshine and beautiful days, or that elusive winning lottery ticket. I have a whole lotta nothing to do, so it's back to work for me.

Hoppy Easter

I had a wonderful day, spent with the Boy at his parents house in central NJ. My sweet and most wonderful boyfriend set up a special little Easter Egg hunt in his living room just for me. I had 10 eggs to find, some stuffed with my very favorite Easter candies (mostly Zitner's Double Coconut eggs..yummm) and some other little goodies he knew I wanted! He is most awesome and I just adore him!

I Have A Secret

Well, not so much a secret really, because other people know about it. But it's something that I can't really tell someone and it would impact their life in a huge negative way. It's very hard to have this information and not really be able to do anything about it, yet I feel that even though ultimately the decision that will be made based on this "secret" will not be mine, that I will have to be the bearer of bad news.

It's no wonder I either can't sleep, or all I want to do is sleep. And also no wonder why I caved and stocked up on nicotine lozenges before I ripped someone's arm off and smacked em over the head with it.

On another note (here is where things get random), it's a drizzly, cool, humid, Friday. Right now I'm home. Rich is back from Chicago, and is leaving again on Sunday for Miami. He is doing good things, I'm happy for him and proud of him.

Today is my wedding anniversary. 12 years ago today, I made the biggest mistake of my life. If I knew then what I know now, or for that matter, learned shortly thereafter the big day... shhessh, they weren't kidding when they said hind sight is 20/20. Thankfully that fiasco was short lived.

Sunday is my Daddy-O's 70th Birthday!!! Happy Birthday Bubba, I love you!

I have much to do today! So I'm off like a prom dress.

April Fools!!!

Arrrrrgh! Today has been quite trying for me, as have the last few weeks really. Today I'm supah dupah fussy, and cranky and tired and unmotivated. Earlier in the week I decided that while the Boy was away in Chicago and then Wisconsen, I was going to break my addiction to nicotine lozenges that I developed when I quit smoking. I'm in one of those moods where I'd chew off my own (or someone elses arm) for a nice hefty dose of nicotine... But I'm gonna go in my office listen to the rain fall, and read a book whilst waiting on patients to come out and buy glasses.

On a quick side note. After 17 years and a lotta wondering I spent 2 hours talking to Lumpy last night!!! That was nice to catch up and reminice.

Love Thy Self 2

Second in this series, my tribute to female masturbation. Available Here.

Love Thy Self

Love Thy Self

New!!

Clicky Here to buy!

Excitment!

YAY!!! I made an Etsy Treasury!! clicky

Crazy Happy Spring!!

So today is the first day of spring!! Despite waking up to it snowing, and later sleeting, I'm terribly, terribly excited. Let's step back 2 days in time to when I wasn't so excited (was rather pissed to be exact) and then catch up to today. Wednesday night, all is well, work is boring as hell this week, but the Boy is coming to stay the night after meeting up with his friend after work for drinks. So I'm a bit rushed as I'm on my way home thinking of all of the little things I need to do before he gets home. I walk in the door, pick up my mail and notice something that looks odd from my apartment complex.. AGAIN they're (the new management) are giving me grief about having Kinsey.. she's over the weight limit (she has been over the new managements weight limit since the day I brought her home almost 6 years ago) she barks at people in the back yard..hello she's a dog, that's her job. She's not an excessive barker, but if someone is in her yard, she'll let me know. I'm only guessing that this latter complaint comes from last week when she went ape shit when the maintenance people were on my patio inspecting my outside smoke detectors (in my storage closet). Or one of my new neighbors complained, either way.. Sooo the letter says that I have to remove Kins from the complex..yeah, hello, NO! If she goes I go and that's all there is to it. So next day I called the complex and told them that I've been round and round with them about this, the property owner himself gave me permission to have her there, over the new weight limit or not, blah blah.. well now I'm waiting to get official word back from them as to what comes next. I told the girl I spoke to that there is no way that I will give her up and if that is the only option then I'll terminate my lease now, (I'd rather not do this, because it could get costly to break a lease) and either way, I'll not renew and find somewhere else to live at the end of it in October. Now this is the abbridged version, but it brings us to today.

Today I went and checked out the cutest (and one of the most affordable, yet in a good neighborhood) apartments I've ever seen. It's not anything to write home about from the outside, but the layouts of the apartments are sooooo cute and perfect. It has an old almost city meets suburbs sort of feel to it, and the best part is that I can get a 2 bedroom for the same price that I'm paying now. And BONUS no weight restrictions on dogs!! So, now I'm almost wishing I have to move ASAP! Either way I'm 99.9% sure that is where I'll be moving once I get out of here.

New! New!! New!!!

Please go check them all out here :o)

Have You Ever?

Had one singular defining moment that changed your views and attitude and feelings about a person forever? I had that moment come yesterday. I found out that the 6 years I spent with Craig was essentially a big lie. Don't really want to get into it now, because everything is still so raw. I haven't had time to really think about it, just react, and lash out like an angry teenager. And I did just that, letting go of 6 years of handling him with kid gloves and letting everything out, saying things to him I never thought I would. But what's done is done, and now I can move on without wondering, or caring for that mater, about his future welfare. I might revisit this post at some time in the future, when I've had sometime to think about everything, then again I might not. I can say this much though, every single miserable day I spent with him, has made me appreciate Rich soooo much more. Even though there are some things Rich and I agree to disagree on, he really is wonderful, and I'm so thankful to have him in my life.

So Very Much Going On

I have much blogging to catch up with! Last weekend was Valentine's Day, My first V-day with the Boy :o) And it was in one word SPECTACULAR! He came here Friday after work and spent the weekend. Saturday morning I got up early and made him breakfast for a change, including heart shaped toast :o) I had started to feel a bit unwell, so I napped a bit in the early afternoon, while I was asleep, I had the most beautiful bouquet of roses delivered.

And a surprise, The Boy wrote me a lovely poem about our 3 months together, and wanted to put it inside a chocolate heart, except they didn't have a mold for that at work, so I got a Valentine's Egg with my poem tucked inside.


We went to see Coraline in 3-D and it was just fabulous! Then went to dinner at The Pufferbelly. As we walked out of the theater it had started to snow, big lofty, beautiful, fat, glistening snowflakes. It felt almost magical.

Unfortunately I ended up coming down with some sort of horrid cold that sidetracked me for the rest of the week, but I'm finally feeling better now. I'm crediting Rich with my feeling better, he surprised me again last night. He came by after work and brought me a get well package with soup and lots of other goodies. He might be the best boyfriend ever :o) Sometimes I feel like I missed out on so much when I was in my last relationship, but, then I think that it makes me appreciate Rich all that much more.

Lastly, I have some new goodies in the shop. Please take a look. I'm hoping to have more ideas to work on this week! Oh also my work schedule should be getting back to normal soon, so I'll have more time to work on items for the shop. I can't wait!

Sort of Dissapointed With Myself

Earlier in the month, ok last month, I had these grandiose plans for things that i wanted to accomplish. Make some winter things, and some Valentine goodies for the shop, finish de-cluttering and reorganizing my apartment, finish fixing things up the way that I want them to be, etc. Now some of this takes extra money that i don't happen to have at the moment, and that's ok, those go on the long term goal list. But the other things are what's really getting to me.. I have had no energy or focus to concentrate on the things I really need/want to do, and have been wasting a ton of time getting lost in either trying to catch up on sleep, watching endless hours of dribble on TV, etc. My sleep schedule is and always has been horrible, I'm a night owl by nature and I feel like between that and my work schedule, something is catching up with me. I can't seem to make it on 5 hours of sleep anymore the way I used to. So I've started working on getting my sleep paterns back to normal, so that I'm getting at least 7 hours of sleep a night, Valerian root, as stinky as you are, you're my friend. I'm hoping that between regulating my sleeping, and things getting sorted out and back to normal at work, I'll soon be able to really be back on track with everything that I'm wanting to do!

Another One Bites the Dust

Another weekend that is, flew by without my managing to get done what I'd set out to. I had big plans for these last few days off, was going to get things tidied up and work on some projects for the shop. Well 2 migraines later, and the Boy showing up a day before I expected him, sort of threw a kink in my plans. I don't know why, but i was very fussy this weekend, and everything was getting on my last mother lovin' nerve. So now that it's Monday, and things are somewhat back in order I'm hoping that feeling goes away, and that I can actually get some things done tonight when I get home.

Well Helllllo Tuesday

Ok, so maybe it's Tuesday night, but Hello!! I've been a bit out of sorts as of late. I don't know what it is, maybe the change in my schedule at work, maybe the short days of winter are getting to me, but I'm TIRED! Rich is in Vegas this week for work, so I'm missing him. It's snowing here, but just a little bit.. what I wouldn't give for a blizzard, so that I could be snowed in and spend time crossing things off my to do list. Right now my never ending list consists mainly of more decluttering, organizing, knitting, crocheting (for myself and the shop), reading, cooking up some goodies and catching up on my back log of Netflix movies.

The good news is that Dad is doing well, he's getting fussy with not being able to really do anything, but he's feeling better! I'm terribly happy about that. Also in good news, we have 2 new hires at work, so I'm hoping that they both work out and things can get back to normal around there.. (that means I'll have my old schedule back..Schweet).

Well I'm off to get the coffee ready for morning and hit the hay.. another night without following through on my other plans...blarg...

I'm Sick and Tired...

No really, I am, sick and because of that very tired. I didn't get a chance to partake in any fishing adventures yesterday because I have some kind of stomach virus... bleeeeech. Between the Pepto swilling and Gatorade drinking, and asprin for the fever. I'm feeling a bit better this morning, well enough to have come to work. Thankfully I'm only working 9-5 today.

In Other News

I'm astounded by how quickly this month (and new year) is flying by. I truly can't believe that January is more than halfway through. I've been quite busy at work, I'm in the process of interviewing potential new staff, and I'm really not enjoying the process. I just don't like interviewing people. I suppose it goes back to remembering how it feels to be the interviewee (though it's been a very long time since I've been in that position).

I've also been a little nutso worrying about my Dad. The great news is that after what was in fact a quintuple bypass, he's back at home and feeling better than he had been in a long time. Of course he's a bit sore and feeling beat up, but all in all he's doing exceptionally well.

When not working, I've been knitting and crocheting a little bit.

Here's a little rolled brim hat that's in the works. A happy and sooo simple it's genius little pattern from this girl :o)



I also made the leap to participate in Project 365 on Flickr. This project doesn't solely focus on self portraits so I think it's going to be a bit easier to capture a year in the life of little ole me.

I did a little shopping and bought myself one of these snazzy numbers Epson Workforce 600 I'm hoping it will be a wise business investment.

Otherwise I'm still working on the reorganizing, simplifying, decluttering of my life and home. I'm really feeling blocked by all the crap I just have laying about that I really have no need or want for anymore. One thing and one day at a time.

Ohhh I almost forgot. Tomorrow, I'm heading up to Central NJ to hang with The Boy and go ICE FISHING!!! I'm actually pretty excited about trying it for the first time. After a day of fishing, I'm going to be trying something else for the first time. Turducken prepared by my Sweetheart. I'm funny with eating meat, so I think I'm more worried about that than I am about the fishing.

Shop Update

The latest addition to my etsy shop. Please come take a peek.

8x10 Fine Art Photography Print
Nautilus

On Becoming Proactive

This has been a very trying week. I found out at the end of the prior week, my dear old Dad had to have another heart cath done and they were going to try and place the stents and see how much improvement there was, if that wasn't successful, they were going to go ahead with bypass surgery. Wednesday he went in for his work up, Thursday they did the procedure, Friday they told him his heart was a lot worse than anticipated, and they would have to go ahead with the bypass, he's also got a faulty heart valve. According to him, the good news was that the Dr's could "fix it", and the bad news was the amount of time he'll be down for recovery and cardiac rehab. I spoke with him on Friday, and he said that he was scheduled for the bypass on Monday. He was in very good spirits all things considered. I can't say the same for myself, as I'm 7 hours away from him and feel like there's nothing I can do from here to be helpful. Saturday morning I get a call from Clytie, they moved the surgery up, and he was going to have the bypass done that afternoon (yesterday). Everything went well, and last night he was in recovery, doing as well as can be expected. I was relieved (and could finally unclench my whole body, and relax a little). I've been so stressed over this, that I must have just been clenching everything, so now, my entire body hurts from my head to my toes.

On to becoming proactive.. Friday I had to bring my car in to have the CV joints replaced. The repair shop is just over a mile from my apartment, so I figured I'd drop it off, and walk home. It was really quite cold, so that morning, I was told by Rich (the Boy) to bundle up, and I did, layer upon layer, I would be warm. I drop the car off and start on my walk home, I'm about a half mile into it, and I'm sweating profusely (I'm partly blaming it on all the layers) and thinking dear god, I'm horrifically out of shape, as I crossed the street, hoping that I wouldn't get plowed down by traffic before I could make it across. In light of all that's going on with my Dad, and the horrible shape that I'm in at this point in my life, I've really decided it's time to start doing something about it. Sooo cardio work outs here I come. I've gotta start slow, but I've gotta do it. Wish me luck!

But I'm Conserving Water

Yesterday I was getting ready to hop in the shower, I turned the faucet on, and pop goes my shower head.. off to the store for a new one. The Boy decided that this was fix it weekend, and tended to some other projects as well. Back to the shower head. I love, I mean really, truly LOOOOVE my showers, hot and steamy, with enough water pressure to blast off anything that might be lingering. My new shower head, though it's pretty groovy, a hand held model, with a few bells and whistles (bathtime for Kinsey just got easier with the handled option) is a water conserving model. While I'm thrilled to bits about that, I'm feeling like I have to dance around in the shower to get wet and washed.. It still does a through job, just not the sort of pressure washing that I'm accustomed to.. Oh well, I just keep telling myself as I do a jig around my tub.. I'm condserving water.

The First Thing I Learned in 2009

Don't accidentally cough, while blowing your nose.. Your uvula doesn't like it much, it can actually be a bit painful... More (okay, a real post) later.. Happy New Year!