Tuesday, December 18, 2007

One Semester Down

Several more to go. But I'm DONE school for right now, and that makes me smile. I can't believe how quickly the last 15 weeks have gone. Now the holiday crunch is on, and honestly I'm just not in the mood this year. Lala was up yesterday to get some of her gifts made up, so I did get to be a lil crafty, and I must say YUMMMM her little pressies smell delish! Despite all I have to get done next weekend, I'm actually looking forward to it. A few days with no alarm going off, time to be crafty, catch up on reading and sleep. I can't wait!

Friday, December 7, 2007

Titled edited 1/2/2011 because of too much spam.. My now EX and one of the reasons why!

Rather than doing the simple thing and writing down my new home phone number until he can remember it, Craig insists on calling me on my cell phone when he knows that I'm home. My cell reception sucks ass in my apartment (thank you Sprint, after my contract is up, I will no longer be your loyal customer), he knows this, yet still insists on calling me on my cell. Jackass! Today for the second time this week, I've had to take his call out on my patio, upon opening my door, the lovely Kinsey makes her escape. So there I am chasing my dog down in the snow while wearing nothing on my tootsies but socks. She did that great dog game of letting me get really close to her before hunching down and taking off...ggrrrrrrr. By the time I finally caught up with her, she was in the front of my building, as a matter of fact, right in front of my apartment door. But, the front door is locked, so we got to walk all the way around to the back of the building (in the snow, in my socks). I call Craig back (from my home phone) to tell him of this adventure, and what does he do, but laugh. Jackass. Today would be one of those days where I really don't know why I keep him.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Can't Seem to Get In The Swing of Things

So here we are in December. I can't believe how quickly this year has past. Many changes have gone on in my life in the last 12 months; but the more things change the more they stay the same. Right now I find myself befuddled with school, lack of funds (this one always seems to stay the same), the idea that the Holidays are right around the corner and I have NO CLUE what to do for anyone. I have my Algebra final coming up, and I'm feeling LOST like a man in the tampon isle. I've had a total creative block for the past few months. I can't seem to get working on anything, or even come up with decent ideas for anything that I might want to work on... Uhhhg, so depressing. I'm off to go try and study and get some of this stuff to stick in my brain!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Sooo Sleepy

Yet I still can't sleep. I've been tired and dragging my ass about all day from lack of decent sleep last night, and here I am up and awake again, though I would love nothing more than to fall into a deep sleep. Tuesday was a completely unproductive day. I didn't get much more than the minimum done at work, and even that was a challenge. I came home and got lost in TV watching rather than sinking into my ever growing pool of homework. I did make an attempt to crack the books for a little bit, then found myself as lost as I felt last week before my tutoring session. I saw one of my lens reps today, who will eventually be one of my optics teachers. He had recommended me to go the apprentice track rather than go for the degree, because all that really matters in the end is that I have a license. So now as I struggle along with Algebra, I'm wondering if that wouldn't be a terrible idea. I wonder if I could cram some extra OS classes in and get my certificate and license, then finish the rest of the courses afterward to get my degree. At least with my license, I'd make more money and school would be more affordable. I've just got way too much on my mind, and then I wonder why I can't sleep. I just feel lost and confused in many areas of my life right now. School, work, Craig, money, you name it, I'm just lost. I'm really looking forward to the extra day off this week for Thanksgiving to try and gather my thoughts and get things back on track. It's already 2:18 am, so I've been writing this for probably close to 45 minutes if not more because I keep getting distracted. Uhhhhg I really just want to sleep!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

It's Done!!!!! It's Done!!!! Thank God It's Done!!!

The Monster window seat and pillows are DONE!!!! I can't wait to get them to Antonina, and I am not planning on ever volunteering for such a project again.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Ding Ding Ding De De Ding Ding

Pressure pushing down on me Pressing down on you.. Under Pressure... That's what I am today. I have a gazillion and eleven things to get done today. No, not tomorrow or the next day, TODAY!!!! Luckily with a middle name like Procrastination, I work well under pressure. It seems that without a deadline of some sort I get nothing done that I really need to. (Why would I want to do such a thing, get things done before their time, that's lunacy). I've got my massive list of things to do written out, I'll check in later to see how far I've progressed!

Friday, November 2, 2007


I am a tremendous slacker (Procrastination is my middle name, I don't care what Lala says when she calls me by my other middle name, she just needs to get it right already). I took a little break from my overdue homework to take Kinsey Cakes for a little walk around the neighborhood and got some pictures (updated in my Flickr ) It's way too gorgeous of a day to be stuck inside doing Algebra and Writing essays all day. Off for lunch, then back to my regularly scheduled homework!

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Painted the Day Away

I'm so terribly excited, I've been talking about painting my apartment for years. Today I finally did it. Well, Craig and I did it (painted that is, he also managed to paint a smiley face on Kinsey's head when I wasn't looking, brat...). I still have 2 hallways, one living room wall, the dining room/kitchen, and bathroom to do. Over the next couple of weeks we'll finish the rest of the apartment. I'm so happy already though. For the first time since I've been here, my home feels "homey" YAY!! Pics will be coming soon! I've taken a few days off (today, and Tuesday) it's so nice to get a little break from work. I have a thousand and 8 things to get done in this little break however, so I'm looking forward to taking another nice long weekend in the next couple of months to just enjoy. Tomorrow is going to be devoted to touching up some paint spots in the bedroom and doing massive amounts of Algebra and English homework

On a sad note, my Aunt Mildred passed away this past Sunday 10/21. :o(

On a cool note, I found out from Dad that my spidey senses are apparently a family trait :o)

More to come soon....

Sunday, October 14, 2007

I Procrastinate, Therefore I Am.

Sunday morning, I find myself propped up in front of my computer; with a huge mug of coffee, my loyal morning companion. There is a skinny feral cat that's just come to sit on my patio, so I brought her out some food and water, and she skittered off back into the yard. I don't generally feed the cats outside of my apartment, not because I don't care about them, but because there are so many of them, I know for a fact that many people come along and feed them, and they tend to pee on your patio things when you do. But this poor thing looks so skinny and sad, I hope she comes to eat soon. Anyway, back to my Sunday morning. I've had 2 weeks to write an essay for English Comp on a reading based topic, do you think I've even started it before now??? Nooooo, meanwhile, it's due before 11 am tomorrow. I've also not even cracked my algebra book open this week. So today will be homework day, all because I'm a slacker, procrastinator extraordionare! Ask my about my monster sewing project, is it done.. uhmm Noooo. Have I worked on my Happy Fall Ya'll Shawl this week, Nooooo. I have learned however that knitting my first pair of socks on double pointed tiny knitting needles is going to require mucho practice on my part before the whole thing feels comfortable. So I guess all is not lost for the week :o) Well, I'm going to hop in the shower, try and wake myself up a little more, and get to work on this essay... then again, maybe I'll wait a little longer.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007


That's what I woke up to at 6 am, after about ohhh 4 hours of not so great sleep. Some little yappy dogs were out front barking at each other, so of course Kinsey had to chip in. Far be it for her to not let her doggy presence be known to everyone in the building. At least my early rising allowed me to get my Algebra exam completed. Now I'm off to the shower to get ready for work, despite the fact that my body and brain are protesting. They would be more than happy to just go back to bed and say a big screw it to going to work today.

Monday, October 8, 2007

I'm in Love

With a woman no less... I know, but Andrea, you're not a lesbian, yes, I know this. But I absolutely adore Laurie Perry aka Crazy Aunt Purl. Like seriously, if I was a boy, I'd marry her. Her blog kept me giggling through an otherwise boring weekend. And got me into the knitting groove again. See my Happy Fall Ya'll Shawl I'm expecting to get done in 2010, cause I'm slow like that. She simply rocks! So I thought what better than a public display of affection to share the joy of the new love in my life :o)

Now onto the old love in my life, Craig... things are slowly getting better, though there's still the confusion of where this is all going after 5 years (Other than we're not moving in together) but no I'm not bitter (as my ovaries harden into walnuts), not bitter at all. All I can really say is we shall see where this wacky world takes us.

School is quite laughable. I almost can't believe that I'm paying for the classes I'm in, but they'll take me where I need to go for my Opticians license so I suppose I've just gotta suck it up (and worry about how I'm going to pay for the rest of it).

Kinsey is stomping her doggy feet and grumbling for me to come play with her so I suppose I should, before she steals more nasty bits from the trash and chomps on them in the middle of my bed. But I just wanted to share some pictures first.

Cheekuns and Other pics are from Lala's visit last month :o) Love ya Lala!

Friday, October 5, 2007

Lazy, Hazy Days of October?

I'm having a very difficult time believing it's October 5th. I'm sitting here in my little apartment, looking out the back door into the gray, foggy, warm and humid back yard. The leaves that have begun to slowly turn color, are covered with a thin film of dew. The air is what can best be described as soupy. I am not an overly happy camper. You see, I absolutely adore fall, every single little thing about fall makes me happy. I love the cool, crisp air, the scent of the first fires built in fire places on cool dark nights, the oh so pretty fall foliage. I still enjoy the rustling sound of kicking through a big pile of fallen leaves. Sweaters... ohhh how I adore sweaters! Not only do they keep you cozy and warm, but they help to hide a multitude of sins. I also feel more connected to my beliefs in the fall for some reason. Perhaps because there is nothing quite like the vibrant beauty of a fall sunset, where an amazing array of pinks, blues, purples, oranges and yellows fill the sky just before the sun sets. A simply amazing gift from Mother Nature.

Yet here I sit with my air conditioner on, because it's supposed to go up to 86 degrees today :o( I actually feel guilty about having it running so late in the year. Uhhhg, I'm tired of the heat already, come on fall!!!!!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007


I've been reading a lot of No Impact Man's blog, and have been wondering how much in my life is enough?? What more can I do to cut back and leave less environmental impact on the planet? Not to mention, what can I do more of to have a positive impact on the environment. Now mind you, I'm not at this point in my life willing to give up electricity, and given my current apartment dwelling situation, I can't exactly go solar. I'm also not ready to go sans toilet paper, but I'm sure there is more that I could do.

I've thought of some options, so far this is what I've come up with:
Recycle more, only buy things that can be recycled or reused. No excess packaging.
Remember my cloth bags, wherever I go.
Cut out things that are not necessary, and buy only the essentials for a while. When I do buy the essentials, be sure to find things that are more environmentally friendly.
Hit the library, rather than buying books.
Utilize Freecycle, and whatever I can't freecycle, drop off at Goodwill, or another charity.
Pick up litter around the apartment.
Walk more, for quick trips to local stores. ( I live in South Jersey, public transportation isn't really an option).
Cut out as many chemicals as possible.

I'm sure I'll think of more as time goes on, but I think for now these things will be a good start :o)

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Tuesday 9/10

The day started out great enough, first day of college, English Comp doesn't seem that it will be too intensive. Then it all went downhill from there. Craig informed me 6 weeks before I'm supposed to move in, that "he loves me, but doesn't feel the same way I do about him" well at least not all the time. After 5 years of being better to him than anyone ever in my life, this is what I get. I'm sad, and angry, and depressed, and pretty much just crushed. It's like my heart and soul have been torn from me and stomped on. Oh and now I get to go to work, and try and behave like a "normal" person. Wish me luck.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Daily Something...

Each year, for the last 4 years on my Birthday, I've decided to learn something new. One year it was one stroke painting, one year knitting, etc. Since I'm already going back to school (that's learning enough for me right now). I've decided to move on my inspiration from Ali Edwards and her Daily Something group and make it my personal challenge to document something from my life each and every day (for at least the next 365 days). Because life isn't just the big things, it's a million little things. I'm sooo looking forward to documenting all the little things. I think it will be great to look back years from now and remember when!

All I can say right now, for today's daily something, is that work was LONG and busy. I've been cranky most of the day because my back has been on the verge of spasms for the past 3 days and I can't take muscle relaxers at work or I'll be loopy. (Loopy Andrea + making people's glasses = bad bad news). I have a bit of cleaning up to do tomorrow before I head out to Weight Watchers, so I'm off to bed!!

Tuesday, September 4, 2007


Today is the first day after Labor Day (Also the day after Clytie's B-day, and I didn't call her...opps, will do today). In this part of my world, this is the day that NJ kiddo's go back to school. I haven't heard the glorious sounds of the school buses going by taking all the little hooligans in my complex back to school, but I could have slept through that, or spoke too soon.

I always had a love/hate relationship with the first day of school. I loved it because I loved all the shopping for new school supplies (still doooo, I get giddy at the mere thought of all the new notebooks, pens and pencils, oh my!) I hated it because my birthday was always the first week of going back to school, so happy B-day to me, look school. Makes me think it was more a gift to my parents to get me out of the house already :o)

Now at days before 35, I'll be going back to school again (my classes start 9/10 and 9/17) and I'm a wee bit nervous, but I don't think it's all really hit me yet. Since most of my class work is going to be online, I'll really have to work on my discipline. But I'm aware of my weaknesses in that area, and I'm sure everything will work out fine.

Craig has already started his worry wort ways about the move. He's never lived with anyone and is worried that after the fact we won't get along, and I'll leave. After 5 years with him, I know that he's not the one I can live with but don't want to live without. I keep assuring him that everything will be fine. I'm thinking about moving things up a little so he has less time to freak out about it. I just called and told him that for the next few weeks, we're going to break tradition, instead of him coming over here all the time, I'll go over there on Saturdays, and as the move gets closer, I'll start spending weekends over there so it won't be such a shock to him having his space invaded and all. Not to mention I'll be able to really plan out where I want everything in my craft room, and start moving things over.

I was a lil crafty this past weekend, I started work knitting my shall, and managed to get about 800 miles of fabric ironed and cut for this window seat, and got 1 of 4 pillows made.. not great, but it's a start. I'm off to work!

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Not Much Going On

This has been a very uneventful week. Not much of anything out of the ordinary has happened. Well that's not completely true, I did have a bunch of wild Turkey's waddle through my backyard. (On several occasions no less) that's something I'd never have expected to see where I live. My allergies have me crazy. Craig keeps asking what I want for my birthday, and honestly I have no clue. I've continued to put off working on this window seat cover, not because I don't want to do it, but I'm dreading ironing all the yards and yards of fabric. (Note to self, Monday it WILL be done!). I started working on a knit shall for fall (y'all) last night. Pictures to follow eventually. I don't have anywhere to be until after 1 today, so I'm debating going back to bed and reading, or doing something somewhat productive. Like cleaning out my closets and getting rid of all the junk I have in there before I move. I guess I could start on the hall closet and see where that takes me... Hmmmpf.. okay off to work on that.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Right Now

Right now it's 12:24 am. I should be sleeping, but right now I'm rethinking my 4pm Starbucks jaunt. Right now I'm realizing that my body can't process things like caffeine the way it used to and maybe this is a sign of my growing older. Right now, I'm wishing I wasn't feeling so scatter brained and could actually sit and get these thoughts whirling through my head gathered into one place and do something productive with them. (Besides writing this blog). Right now I'm feeling very puffy and bloated from dinner, yep hit the drive though, a big no no the night before Weight Watchers. More proof of my body not being able to process things the way it used to. Right now, I'm thinking maybe it wasn't the best idea to take a second water pill for the day (for my high blood pressure, hmmm another sign perhaps) to relieve this horrible swollen puffy feeling I have from my head to my toes, because I'll probably not sleep well (if I can ever get to sleep in the first place) because I'll be up running to the potty all night. Right now, Amber is laying on the floor like the Queen of Sheba, demanding attention from Nova in the best way she knows how, while he's sitting chewing on my shoelace, blatantly ignoring her purrs. Right now, Kinsey is camped out in the bedroom, even she knows it's past bed time. Right now, I'm looking around my apartment, in dire need of a deep cleaning, and feeling it's cluttered and somewhat chaotic, but I'm not inspired or motivated enough to do anything about it at this moment. Right now my foot is itching like crazy from where I've gotten bug bites from evening walks with Kinsey in the wet grass. Right now I'm yawning, could the Valerian be kicking in, finally? Maybe I'll make it to sleep soon after all. Right now I'm wondering if "right now" is just so boring in the grand scheme of things that it's making me yawn? Right now I'm thinking I'm going to putter around online till I'm ready to drift off to sleep.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Please Excuse Me From Class..

My dog ate my lunch bag... no seriously, almost the whole thing. Kinsey munched her way through the remnants of my lunch while I was in the shower tonight. 1 Whole plum (yep pit and all) 2 Blow Pops (trying not to smoke dontchaknow?) and a half a baggie of Kashi cereal. I managed to catch her before she dove into my crystal light to go packs (that would have been messy). And where does she consume all my lunch goodies?? Why on my bed of course. Time to change the bed, yet again. Crazy little monster. But I love her to bits. When it comes to her continuously chomping on things, she's all Lab!

On a good note, Craig is on his way home early. Sadly it's not because of good circumstances, but at least I'll have my honey home soon! I've missed him terribly!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

So far today...

Today has been another one of those few and far between yet oh so perfect days. I woke up early, after being up pretty late last night. Had my required morning cups of coffee (3 to be exact)
and went about scrapping.

I ended up making a little ham for dinner with some mac-n-cheese. It was such an awesome day, quiet, rainy, cool. While the ham cooked, I spent the afternoon sitting in complete silence, out on my patio, reading Eat, Pray, Love Wonderful book, I highly recommend it! I did have a sad moment in my day, well actually during this past week. One night I came home from work and had Kinsey out for our evening walk, when I got to the side of my building, I found that the landscapers had taken down a bunch of the trees on the side of my building. I have no idea why, they were perfectly healthy, not too close to the building. It just made me sad. So I took some pictures of the remains, and plan to scrap them later tonight or tomorrow.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Slow Blog Week For Me

Things have been a little hectic this week. We've finally after 8 years of my reasoning (begging) at work gotten some lab equipment. So now I can make glasses on site. Since I haven't touched any lab work at all in 8 years, it's a lot of recalling everything that I'd learned way back when. Overall I'm really quite thrilled about it though! The work situation with Margret has reached a critical point. She was a no show again yesterday, after her sister in essence didn't feel it was important for her to come to work. I don't even want to recall the details right now, but in essence, we need at least one new person. As her friend I feel bad that she's going through all of this in her personal life, though I still feel that she brings so much of it on herself. As her boss, I can't take it anymore, time to find some new blood, her behavior is totally unacceptable. Today (my day off) I have to go into work for a couple of hours to run through any lab work. I can use the overtime, so I guess I shouldn't complain too much. Then it's off to get my "chicken pickers" (acrylic nails) soaked off and a manicure. My pretty nails + lab work = bad, bad things that could happen to poor defenseless optical lenses. Then it's hitting the food store, cleaning up the apartment, and scrapping! Hopefully I'll perk up a little soon, and be ready for the day!

Monday, August 13, 2007

Not My Best Work

But it makes me happy no less!

It's Official

As of today I am a student again, a first time college student at the ripe old age of 34. I still have to buy my books for my English class, (the bookstore was out of them) but I'm registered and well on my way. Honestly I'm still a little bit stunned by all of this, just a few months ago, I really would never have imagined I'd actually be going back to school. Crazy, just crazy! But I'm really feeling good about it. Not to mention I get to buy school supplies, and well, I LOVE me some school supplies! Good times there!

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Not So Typical Sunday Morning

Sunday mornings for me usually consist of the early morning phone call from Craig, then puttering around all grumpy, until I've had enough coffee to make me human again (a big change from the groggy monster that I wake up as). This morning, Craig is in Canada, after a l-o-n-g troubled road trip there, that included spending the night on the side of the road with a busted up boat trailer. I actually slept well last night, So I wasn't such a Grumpelstilskin when I woke up this morning. I'm not feeling great (sore throat, ear keeps popping) but all in all it's a good morning. Friday night, after years of bad sleep. I went to my favorite local health food store and bought some Valerian to help me sleep. It actually seems to work! I took it last night around 8:30 and was sound asleep by 10. Now that's impressive!

Lala, P-Dub and their friend Kat came up yesterday after work for SJPPD at Cooper River Park. It was cool, I was (I think we all were) hoping for a bit more, but perhaps next year, as word gets out about the day. It was really just nice to spend the day out with friends in the absolutely gorgeous weather.

Today, I'm hoping to get some crafty time in, I've gotta do more math review for my test tomorrow, but I also hope to be able to get in some reading. Yesterday, my friendly Mail person (they put up with Kinsey snatching the mail through the mail slot, and tearing it about, so they've gotta be friendly right??) delivered my most recent order from QPB.com

so I'm now well stocked in fresh books, that I can't wait to get into.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Pouting With a Fully Extended Boo Boo Lip

I'm sad and blue this afternoon. Craig is leaving for his annual Canada fishing trip with his dad today. I'm glad he gets to go, gets some time off and is able to really take the time to do what he loves, but I just hate it when he's not around. Miss him SOOOO much! I love him with all that I am :o)

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Tired Tuesday

I always strongly dislike going back to work on Tuesdays. Not only do I just really want more time off, but I can never seem to get motivated until at least Wednesday. So I tend to futz around feeling restless all day. I get my work done, but it's always a drag. Today, well, more of a drag. I'm tired, feeling puffy, and I have to get back to studying algebra for next weeks test. I got my new camera, and I'm quite happy with it, I've gotta play around a bit and figure out all the bells and whistles, but I'm sure I'll have some pics to post in the next few days. Off I go to hit the shower then the books!

Monday, August 6, 2007

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Schploggin' Like a loon today

I seriously think that I've let almost 2 years of pent up creativity out in the last 2 days!

Out of My Rut :o)

My layouts so far today :o)

Sunday Morning Silence

I woke up way earlier than planned this morning. I had hopes of sleeping in until at least 9 or 10. But at 7am my eyes popped open (with a little help from Kinsey nudging me to go out) and I'm so glad that they did. It's a glorious morning here in NJ! In the midst of August and sweltering heat, we have a gorgeous morning. The sun is shining, the sky is clear, the temperatures are cool. I have my windows wide open, fans going, taking in as much cool fresh air as possible before it heats up again outside. Kinsey's out back as I type, with her nose in the air chasing bugs, waiting for the little Pomeranian next door to come out and play with her. I'm here with my big old cup-o-joe, listening to nothing but the sound of the fan whirling, the clock ticking and nature outside my door. Truly Lovely! Every day should start like this!

I have big plans for being crafty today. My plans started last night, on the way home I stopped at JoAnn's and picked up some cotton canvas fabric (Inspired by Lala's trip here last weekend). I got some really cool, quite happy fabric to make bags with. Started mine last night, just have to finish sewing the lining in :o) It makes me so happy when I look at these!

Other things that have my all sorts of joyous right now are
Butterflies, because they always make me happy!
of course! I'm just in LOVE with this little pip of a car!! The Toyota Yaris! And the fact that I should be getting my camera on Tuesday!! Can't wait!

After today, life will go on as usual. I'll have to start studying again, because yesterday I received my acceptance letter from the College for the fall semester in the Ophthalmic Science program! I'll be going on Monday 8/13 to take the placement tests :O) I'm off to enjoy today!

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Oh Happy Day!

I love Thursday's. Mostly because it's my Friday, I'll have a glorious day off tomorrow, much on my to do list, but that's okay, because work isn't one of those things. Today was also a good day because it was a payday, though I can kiss that cashola goodbye because rent is due. I did however treat myself to a little gift today. A happy early Birthday to me, and congrats on my graduation gift (so what if I need 2 reasons to justify spending money on myself). I got myself a Canon PowerShot A570 IS Digital Camera at a rockin' price no less :o) I can't wait until it gets here! I've been dying for a new digi cam for a long time now.
I took a couple more pictures today, some hydrangeas and a yechy cicada shell. With my day off tomorrow, we'll see what new and exciting things I can find! On that note I'm off to bed early for once!

Wednesday, August 1, 2007


Today was a ridiculously long day at work. I had a horrible time sleeping last night, so I was groggy as all get out through the 11 hour day. I'm ready for the sweet surrender of sleep. Since I've not actually been able to get all crafty yet, I've started taking pictures of just everyday things. I'm hoping to get more inspiration from them!

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Long Time No Bloggin'

I've been meaning to get here and do some blogging for weeks, the time's flown by and with one excuse after another, I've not been posting. My Lala seems to be MIA tonight so no yapping with her, I suppose my excuses have run out.

Some very exciting things have happened in the last few weeks. On 7/3 I had a long talk with Dad, he was working, so there was no Clytie in the background piping in every 2 seconds. It was sooo nice to just be able to talk to him alone. During our conversation we were talking about their wedding and how he doesn't want to get married in a church, because he's about as atheist as one can be. Soooo with that opening the door for me, I popped out of the broom/Pagan closet, and was replied to with "well shit, I coulda told you that long ago". Why is it that any time I have some concern about telling him something in my life, he's super cool and open about it?? Gotta say My DADDY ROCKS! On 7/14 I took the GED exam and passed with flying colors! I was way over prepared to say the least. I'm really excited to get registered for college classes in the next couple of weeks!

Laura was up this past weekend, we had a great time as always. Saturday, after Craig left, we went to Sun and Moon and stocked up on some goodies, then toodled about town. Had some late night crab cakes.. yummmm! And spend Sunday hanging home and checking out fabric at JoAnns. All in all, a fantabulous weekend.

Now I've got the crafty/creative bug! I've spent the better part of the last 2 days pouring over Ali Edwards and Elsie Flannigan's blogs in search of ideas and inspiration! Hopefully my mood will continue into the weekend when I've actually got some free time to work on somethings!

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Jumpin' Jehosephat?? And Other Things I Don't Understand

Okay, here's a question.. why Jehosephat, and why is he jumpin'? Second question for the evening, Why is it that my dear darling wonder dog Kinsey feels the need to munch on grass outside and promptly upon returning to the great indoors horf it up all over my freshly made bed? Now I fully understand why dogs eat grass, and that's all fine and good, but WHY throw it up on my bed, and no where else ever but my bed? Now lookie what I just found, should one of the cats horf up a furball, I can proudly display one of these numbers to warn any pedestrians of what they're about to step in.

My third and probably final question for the evening.. is more of a pondering really. So I just made a pot of vegan stuffed peppers (no animals were harmed in the stuffing of said peppers) I used Morning Star Farms Sausage Style Crumbles, and my favorite new whole grain Bulgur :o) I was wondering why a vegan would want to eat something that tastes like and reminds them of meat? I'm cool with the whole concept of no food with faces, I couldn't do it, but hats off to those of you who can. I just know for me, some types of meat just gross me out, and I can't even think about eating them, smelling them, etc. without dry heaving. So I suppose this whole concept just confuses me a wee bit. Speaking of wee things, I should really take my wee brain and go study some, just 4 more weeks till test time :o)

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Whoa Nelly

Great Googly Moogly! I'm a sleepy girl tonight. I had some rather grandiose plans for the evening, but decided to scratch them and try to actually get a decent nights sleep. I spent last night tossing and turning, either too hot, or just not comfortable until after 3am, This left me wanting to pull Craig's lips over his head when he called me at 7am to let me know he wasn't going into work until much later in the morning. There I was stuck dragging my sorry groggy ass out of bed to go to work all day.

Work was pretty boring, no good tales to tell for the day. I think I'm just going to take a shower, call it a night and catch some zzzzz's. (Yeah right, I'm sure I'll have my head stuck in my math book before I actually go to sleep). Forty five days till test day, gotta be ready!

Thursday, May 24, 2007


I don't know what's gotten into me as of late. I'm wondering if it's my age catching up with me, making me really sense my place in life, or if I'm just feeling a bit stuck where I am currently. I'm feeling the overwhelming need to start making improvements all around. First we have my quitting smoking (25 days and counting), going back to WW, and working out on a regular basis. Should those things not be enough change for me, I've now decided I want to go back to school in the fall.

See here's the thing. I've been working in my field for 17 years, but have yet to go to school and get my license. In all honestly, I've been fortunate enough to work in practices where I didn't actually need it. Alright, in brutal honesty, I've been either too lazy or afraid to go back to school because I feared I wouldn't do well. Due to complications that were partly beyond my control (I say partly, because I could have sucked some of it up and busted my ass rather than just say fuck it) I never finished high school and never went to get my GED. I'm not really proud of any of this, but I was young, quite rebelious, and quite frankly, got off in having people tell me I wouldn't be able to do this than and the other because I didn't have a diploma, then going out of my way, above and beyond to show them not only could I do it, but I can do it better than many. Kinda my big "Oh yeah, well fuck you" to the world.

Now I find myself in the position of knowing that not only would I be able to make more money, but I'd also have many more opportunities available to me if I had my license. I'm also in the position of knowing that the OS program in my area only takes new students in the fall. Soooooo it's either now, like RIGHT NOW, or wait until next year to start. The program I'm interested in is a 3 year apprenticeship program. This means that I've really got to get my shit together, not just study for but pass the GED, then college placement tests then (given I don't have to take any refresher courses) interview with the head of the OS dept. and enroll by 8/31.

Just the thought of all of this makes my head spin, especially since what I remember about math couldn't even fill a thimble. The part that really gets me, is that all of the classes and labs I'd have to take, well, after 17 years, I know all that shit. It would take more out of me to just get into the program than I think the actual program itself would.

Well I'm off, just the thought of all this has me nervous and excited. I've gotta work tomorrow (yeccchhh) farkin' LUMP!

Friday, May 18, 2007

5 Pounds Lighter Chubby Girl VS. Roller Blades Day 1.

I went to WW this morning, and was happy to learn that my first week back on the program has paid off, I lost a whopping 5.4 pounds this past week. I was so excited about that, and knowing how much my working out has helped me to have that loss, that I jaunted off and bought myself a pair of roller blades, thinking that this will be great, I really want to work out more outdoors, but don't want to/can't do anything that's going to pound on my blown out knees. Mind you I haven't been on any kind of skates in almost 20 years. This idea of mine, well, lets just say, is about as smart as a box of hair!

On my first outing (cloaked from embarrassment by the safety of the darkness) this evening, I didn't even make it down my front walk to the sidewalk before wiping out and landing not just flat on my ass, but I seem to have stopped my fall with my right wrist. Seems my front walk has a bit more of a slant to it than I had anticipated. I got up, shook it off, and skate walked, if you can call it that, just working on my balance to the end of the block, turned around and made it back home without falling again. I don't think I did any serious damage to my wrist but it's not feeling so great, no bruises or scrapes or anything like that, just really sore and somewhat swollen. I won't let this little injury stop me from learning how to do this, but I think I'll let it heal up a bit before I try skating again. Worst comes to worst, I can always get some skates with 4 wheels. And maybe once my knees start feeling better, I'll get that bike I've been thinking about. At the rate I'm going though with re-learning all the things I used to do with ease, I might want to find a bike with training wheels :o) I'm off to ice and wrap my wrist and try and get some sleep.

Grumble Grumble Grumble

I'm in an incredibly foul mood this evening. Work has me utterly, completely, excessively pissed off. Better to be pissed of than pissed on you say?? Suck my ass would have to be my reply. Very mature of me, I know. Without getting into too much detail, I really can't deal with my office environment the way it is. Working with my bosses is like being the child of a bad marriage that you just wish upon a star would end in divorce (yep, I'm familiar with that life experience as well). I have the misfortune of being stuck in a "management position" (that's a fuckin' joke, in other words, I'm the only sucker who's stuck around long enough to get a title) yet, I'm given no authority to make any changes that are so desperately needed to make the workplace more cohesive.

I would sit here and evaluate the situation, but right now I'm still too pissed about it all. Maybe tomorrow, when I'm well rested and recharged.

Monday, May 7, 2007

Random Samplings

Some Haiku written in the winter of 2006-07

In her silver light.
I am embraced in the night.
Mother Moon and I.

Freshly fallen snow.
Blankets Mother Earth with cold.
New life springs beneath .

Waves come rolling in.
A constant dance with the shore.
Leaving gifts to find.

Fatal Affair (Written the last time I quit smoking)

My heart pounds, my head aches. I am going crazy inside. Thoughts of you have been going through my mind all day. Keeping me awake, overwhelming me with the desire to be with you just once more. I love you and hate you at the same time. I still wonder, would once ever really be enough?

I close my eyes and imagine what it would be like to feel you one more time. The throbbing of my head and heart are incessant. I simply can not stop thinking of you. Of how it would feel to hold you in my hand, slowly roll you between my fingers, to have you slip slowly, silently, between my eager lips. To inhale and feel you dance and roll over my tongue. My skin tingles almost instantly, I feel the blood pulsing through my veins, and the dizzy light headed whirl that comes with each breath.

I ask myself "Is it worth it?" to stop this constant battle in my head, to finally end this fatal affair.

I loved you, and I hate you, and I won't let you be the end of me.


I thought of you today.
And I felt a twinge of guilt, because I missed your birthday on the 22nd, yet again.
I though of you today.
And wondered if you've ever been sad that you had missed mine over the last several years.
After all, how could you possibly forget my birthday, as it's the same date as your parents anniversary.
I thought of you today.
And for a second figured life it too short, we really should get together, catch up on lost time, it's really been too long.
I thought of you today.
And recalled our last conversation, and how in the midst of grieving the loss of your mother, it was still all about you.
I thought of you today.
I was in the shower, where I do some of my deepest, clearest thinking.
And suddenly, everything from the past 33 years (or as much as I can remember) came flooding back. The emotions coursed through me, as the tears fell hidden by the spray of the shower, they just kept coming.
I thought of you today.
And I was in mourning for the relationship we should have had, but never did.
I thought of you today.
And wondered if you ever loved me, even for an instant.
I hoped that you had, that was supposed to be your job after all.
I thought of you today.
And wanted to thank you for giving me life, despite your wishes, and for showing me exactly what not to do with my own child when I have one.
I thought of you today.
And in my head, reasoned that you have created your own existence as it is currently, and decided I shouldn't feel guilty about that.
I thought of you today.
My Mother.
And again, felt everything, and nothing.

Saturday, May 5, 2007

Cinco de Mayo & National Scrapbook Day

Did I partake in either event, Uhhhm that would be a no Bob. Today was spent at work, then hangin' with See Dub. Big plans tomorrow for getting not just some scrapping in, but also making a delightful Mexican Chicken Fiesta of my own, consisting of Cilantro Lime Chicken with rice, and angel food cake with mango in simple syrup. Hmm and I wonder why I'm chubby. Not to mention always a day late and a dollar short.

Margret is supposed to be coming by tomorrow to finally start on her scrapbook for Lacie. To date only on one occasion have our planned outings actually taken place, so we shall see what tomorrow brings. Margret or no Margret, I have this NEED to do something creative. I have a ton of ideas of things I'd like to complete, but, I either don't have the time or the attention span to actually see them come to fruition. (Ooookay, sometimes I'm just a lazy ass). I have 2 quilts to work on, scrapping to catch up with, the art quilt I have an idea for in my mind, a few other ideas for story's that I'd like to one day write. In the meantime, I'll just keep thinking of everything I want to do, keep popping my nicotine lozenges and just be happy that it's been 6 days since I've smoked!

Thursday, May 3, 2007


Thank God it's Thursday! I'm more than ready for the day off tomorrow, even though it's filled with errands. I'm about beat from this week at work, today was a great day though.

On another note, I'm really doing well with my quitting smoking this go round. It does help a great deal that Craig and Margret are quitting too. So far it's been 4 days. Not really much else to post right now. I'm off to shower, slather myself in Faux Tan and loaf around a bit :o)

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Note to self..

Do NOT, I repeat DO NOT wear new 4" heels to work on an 11 hour day!

Monday, April 23, 2007

Self Defeating or Self Destructive?

I have spent most of my life dealing with long term clinical depression, though I've only sought medical treatment on 2 occasions. On my last visit with my Dr. he encouraged me to either go to therapy, seek out a support group, or find some way to get my issues out in the open. So this will be my way.

There are often times where I question the vicious circle of the things that I do. I've never really put too much thought into these things until recently. I'm not talking about anything horrible or illegal, just things that I know better than to do. Smoking, eating things I shouldn't (when I'm on medication for high cholesterol, and high blood pressure, as well as having a great deal of heart disease in my family), not exercising anywhere near as much as I should. Just in general not taking care of myself. Sure I can do anything for a while, pull myself together, take better care of myself, that goes on anywhere from a few weeks to a few months, but for some reason I just don't seem to ever make it stick for good. Now here I sit, stuck with this question. Are the things that I do, that I know I shouldn't simply self defeating, because I've become lazy, even stagnant with the way that I've lived up until now. Or are my actions subliminally self destructive because I don't really like the person I feel I am at times. I guess it's something to spend the next few days contemplating.